Happy New Year, lovelies! I’ve gotten to the jaded point where I no longer subscribe to the notion that I can revolutionize my faults to the point where I can declare that a “new me” will occur in the coming year. Instead, I wanted to take a break from my fairly informative (ha!) posts and just share what I have going on thus far in 2017. Some of these subjects we’ll surely revisit this year, I’m sure, so if you like want to hear more, you’ll definitely want to subscribe to lé blog.
When the clock struck midnight, a lot of feelings happened in rapid succession. Relief, because 2016 was over. The most difficult year of my life thus far was finally finished. Immediately after, I was hit with a new wave of sadness and maybe a little dread. This was the first New Years Day that would occur without a call from my dad and many prayers for a prosperous and progressive new year. In two days, no call at 7 AM (literally one of three people that are allowed to call me at that hour) to remind me that it’s my sister’s birthday, even if I’ve been aware for most of my 28 years of life. And the firsts would continue – my diabetes anniversary, mom’s birthday, his birthday, father’s day, MY birthday…and each occasion a painful reminder of the void he left. I also grapple with the notion of long-term grief. I’m used to crying about a thing for a week or two and then getting over it. So, three months later, I cry regularly and I’m just not sure how to deal. Which turns into a cycle of self-pity and self-disgust which is probably not that constructive. I try to journal about it. I try to talk about it. I leave myself avenues of release so I can walk through this journey in the best way I know how. Most of all, I’m learning to understand that my feelings are valid, and just let them happen and trust the process.
New Love Interest
On my more aspirational days, I consider writing a book that would be titled Started with a DM. Because somehow, a little whiskey, gutso borrowed from Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes, and internet access led me to diddy bop into a long-time Twitter follower’s DMs with a shy “hi”. (You should give it a try one day…whiskey, Shonda, internet – that’s the recipe.) Of course, before we could progress past the DMs, I had to ask him two important questions: 1. On a scale from 1 to 10, how well can you tolerate my love for Beyoncé? and 2. Have you read or watched Harry Potter? He answered satisfactorily (9 out of 10, and watched, not read) and it’s been pretty awesome since then. He’s been an amazing presence through my grieving and handles all my random tears like a champ. I think he’s the bee’s knees, pretty much. He’s also a photographer which will be great for my blogging life. *evl*
On January 3rd, I put on my special “new job” big girl panties (theoretical, not actual) and walked into a new place of employment. After 4 years at my first advertising job (straight out of grad school), I was evicting myself out of my comfort zone and it was scary and exciting at the same time. At my previous job, I LOVED my coworkers. Like, we hung out both in and out of work and when I wasn’t working I was basically texting the people I worked with. Now, I had to walk into another building and basically prove that I could do what I said I could do at the job interview while simultaneously dazzling them with Golden Girls fangirl tendencies and ever-so-charming love for Beyoncé. And even though I’m 4 years in the game, I’ll be honest and admit my confidence comes and goes in spurts. 3 weeks later, I’m glad to say I know a thing and my former coworkers have not blocked my phone number yet.
Countdown to 30
Okay, so I don’t turn 30 until 2018 but December 27 marked a year and a half until I turned 30. I’ve set aside a lot of expectations that I once gave myself a “30-year-old” deadline. So there will probably be no husband, 2.5 kids, house with a picket fence and a dog. And I will still be a perfectly functional 30-year-old, I believe. Instead, I’m working on some adjustments that will make me, in my mind, a more well-balanced human. Things like finally getting a handle on my type 1 diabetes, paying off debt, and trying to be domestic in a way that works for me. I’ve kept a house plant alive for a few months (though I think she has a disease and now we have to go to the plant doctor aka back to Calloway’s). I’ve mastered a few lazy meal options that aren’t frozen but still take very little effort on my behalf. As I approach 30, I look forward to mastering a few adulting hacks, and I’ll be sure to share with you when I figure them out.
Oh, and I Launched a Shop
So, I did a thing. I created an entire website and e-commerce shop. It’s called Wine, Meats, Yonce (three things I love) and it’s a collection of apparel, accessories, and prints of things we all love, designed by me. It’s quite an exercise in branding and marketing for me. I really don’t like selling myself (see confidence issue above) so it’s interesting trying to sell this passion project of mine. Hopefully, with some savvy marketing and hard work, it’ll be something rewarding.
Got Sucked Into the Planning World
I mainly blame some of my friends, but I got pulled into the planning world. Now I often peruse Easy shops in my spare time. I even designed my own set of Planner stickers, but my Cricut continues to be an enemy of progress so I haven’t successfully printed yet. But when I figure that all out, I might start using my Cricut for profit and not expense in 2017. We shall see how that goes.
2017 Word of the Year
I am just jam-packing this blog post with everything I wanted to say in January, it seems. So this year’s word of the year was Hope. It’s been a while since I was able to hope for anything. And the notion of hope itself is very scary since it requires some belief that good things can happen to me. Some of my scariest hopes actually peer at me on a regular basis on my vision board. But I’m going to hope, even if it scares the crap out of me. Here’s to hoping for a great 2017, that sets me up for an even more phenomenal 2018 and beyond.
Whew! That’s it. What’s been going on with y’all? Did you decide on a word for 2017? Talk to me in the comments below. (It gets kinda lonely here in blog world)